Always when you can't have it...

Beautiful clothes always come along when I'm trying not to spend.

This Black Tipped Shell Dress from Miss Selfridge is gorgeous, but I can't justify spending £38 on something I'll probably hardly ever wear. Especially now seeings as I've got a job in a warehouse so spend all day in old tee shirts, grubby jeans, safety boots and a high visability jacket!! Not exactly stylish!

I might find myself breaking my no spending till August rule if it's as beautiful in store as it looks online.

There's also another 2/3 checked shirts I want.

Topshop £28

Topshop £28

Miss Selfridge £22

I need a less expensive hobby!

Summer Sun

Hanging out in
The Yard

Today...

I haven't got out of my pajamas


But yesterday I felt pretty awesome.

Temptation completely irresisted

I knew it was only a matter of time before I finally gave into Ebay.

I also knew it would be a big factor in my bank account's downfall :D

Just doing a search out of boredom and I stumble across this:

I tried to resist it, but for only £5 (£8.95 with postage) I couldn't.
It is a good looking shirt though, and hopefully it'll stave me off the expensive Topshop pretties for a few ... weeks.

and now to tease myself mercilessly...

♥

And because I completely forgot to update about them, I had two more deliverys arrive last week:

#1: My retro camera pendant from JiJi Kiki.
The 'lens' on the front flashes when you press the button on the top. I love it :)
#2: My old Skullcandy headphones finally gave up on me early last week, so I ordered these pink and white beauts to replace them. They're soo shiiiinyyy.

Red Plastic Factory

Red Plastic Factory are brilliant.

I discovered them through another blog at the weekend, ordered from them Monday night and it arrived Wednesday morning. (Though I slept practically all day so I didn't discover the package till night-time).


I love that it comes in a little box tied off with a ribbon.
Packaged up inside in black tissue paper and bubble wrap (not shown because I was already popping it :D)

I love it so much, its the perfect size and everything. Gorgeous!

♥

Batgirl's Got Banana Feet

♥

Snip Snip

So Friday I went from that ^^

To this :
Aside from the dorky expression I seem to have developed since the chop, I love my new hair.
I also brought another new tee-shirt from Topshop.
A baggy, falls off one shoulder, long black tee shirt.
It was only £8, that's my justification. =)

Yet Again.

Why can't I stop buying things?
I got a new dress from the Debenhams sale yesterday (but foolishly forgot to nab the picture first) and a cartoony tee shirt from New Look whilst in town, and now today I've brought these boots.
I wanted some cool biker style boots, but the only really good ones are expensive. These were £20 and reduced to £8...with the VAT thing they're dropped even more to £7.83.
I can justify spending on more boots if they're under £10.

♥

Told you...

I have no will power.
But I do now have gorgeous shoes, so I guess it's a fair trade. =)

I want...

I'm in love with these two pairs of shoes.

£15 from New Look.

£25 from Dorothy Perkins.

I have a feeling I'll be buying at least one pair quite soon, I'm a sucker for grey and red.

I've been looking for a dress for a while. I never wear them and I've been trying to change that; but I think I've found one I would consider.

£22 from Debenhams.

I like the fact that it's versatile, I could wear it during the day or dress it up.

I'm so fed up with the state of my room.
I seem to be incapable of keeping it even decently clean, it's like everytime I tidy one part, I turn around and there's a ton more stuff everywhere else.
I have too many little 'things' all over my room.
Random figures and toys, beanie babies and sheep.

I desperately want to redecorate and make it seem more like a bedroom an almost 20 year old would have, but it's like the onslaught of stuff is endless.

This is going to take me forever. =(

Etch-A-Sketch

My friend got her first tattoo today.
It's got me hankering for my first one now.
It's been an eager topic for discussion for a good while now, but none of us knew who'd be the first to take the plunge. Another friend has promised me we'll go for our joint firsts as soon as her next grant goes in.
I'm wussing out and only having the number 23 on the inside of my wrist.
But it does mean a lot to me, not only for the juicy conspiracy surrounding it, but also because of my birthday.

Born at 2:30am, on the 23rd of August = 8th month.
2x2x2 =/= 2³

I have a slightly irrational interest in the number, I blame it partly on my birthday, and partly on Jim Carey.

I also got a new bag:

It's been dubbed "The Grown Up Bag", seeings as it's the first bag I've had in a long time that doesn't feature cartoons or an abundunce of funky keyrings.

I love it.

Down in the dumps and I don't got a ladder

Sometimes I wonder why I keep on trying.
I wish I could be as talented as the popular photographers on Deviantart/Flickr. Not neccessarily because I want the same popularity, but because it all seems to come so easily to them.
Every piece they upload comes out beautifully, they always have perfect models, while I have to make do with myself.
I wish I had the confidence to ask one of my friends to model for me, or even to find a stranger willing to put up with my novice attempts at photography.
Not that I'll probably ever be able to do either.

Part of me wants to go to college, then later uni, but the larger, overruling part knows that it'll probably never happen. I don't have the belief in myself, or the courage to go somewhere and just trust in myself that I'm good enough to get by, that I'm just as deserving as anyone else to the chance to show off my supposed talents.
I wish I could show my writing to people who matter, I always put a light-hearted spin on it when I show friends, because I don't want them to know how much it means to me that they think it's anygood.

I'll be too old for uni anyway. Even if I did do college, I'd be the weird older kid who took all this time just to build up the nerve to do something most teenagers take in their stride.
My anxities are going to rule my life, they already do and I don't know what I can do about them.
I don't know how I will ever be able to sit in a job interview when I struggle even going into the store to ask for application forms, college has an interview too, I'd be too nervous, they'd see straight through me. They'd know I'm not good enough for them.

Nothing I ever do comes out good enough, nobody takes me seriously or expects me to ever be anything of any sustinance. I don't see how I'm supposed to have any confidence in myself when the people around me have given up hope.

I have this dream me inside my head. Like an alternative me, and she's brilliant.
She overcame everything, she's tried everything and become stronger for it.

I've never done a thing because everything scares me too much. I spend far more time feeling sick then should be normal, all anyone cares about is how much I weigh and it's completely insignificant to the rest of my life. People just focus on eating because they don't want to except that there just might be a bigger reason for it.
That the reason I've got no interest in food is because I've got no interest in anything, nothing fufills me anymore, I have no reason to go to bed because I've nothing to be up for.
I don't need to eat because I never need energy to do anything.
My greatest achievements over the last few months have been beating baddies on computer games. And even those took me more then one attempt.

I hate the way I dress, I hate my style but I don't want to spend money changing it only to risk hating the new one more.
People shout at me to tidy my room, but no-one's been in here for months.

I need to get better, I need to improve. I need to change and become the adult everyone's always telling me I should be.

I already have a blog I use quite often, livejournal, but I figured you can never really have too many blogs =D